Why Pay Nothing For Alexa When You Can Pay $5 or $10 A Month Instead?
There was a request for a round up of all the security nightmares unleashed upon us this week we missed in Insecurity Corner, from systemd doing horrible things to HTTP/2 DOS attacks, or a possible Apple breach, through zero click Outlook attacks and even car dealers getting knocked off the internet. That only reveals the first row on this week’s lotto scratch card of security hell but it’s Friday, we survived and we could use a laugh!
Amazon has come to our rescue with one of the most laughably bizarre business decisions of 2024; which is a high bar. The popularity of Amazon’s Alexa has been plummeting as people realize just how limited it’s usefulness is. The constant removal of support for older products certainly hasn’t helped either, nor the accidental monitoring and storing of things like the images and voices of young children.
Alexa never made Amazon money, and is now creating a noticeable deficit in their budget. Instead of accepting it’s unpopularity and either making it more useful or abandoning it completely, Amazon is doubling down. They are proposing a monthly charge of $5 for “basic Alexa”, or $10 for access to “Remarkable Alexa”.
After all, how could people not jump at the chance to pay for a service they don’t want or use, instead of not using it for free?
Known internally as "Banyan," a reference to the sprawling ficus trees, the project would represent the first major overhaul of the voice assistant since it was introduced in 2014 along with the Echo line of speakers. Amazon has dubbed the new voice assistant "Remarkable Alexa," the people said.
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Great sense of humor, Jeremy! That was enjoyable readings. One note: “it’s” is a contraction for “it is” or “it has” or “it was”. You’re using a possessive “its”, (“as people realize just how limited it’s usefulness is”) which does not have an apostrophe.